One of the first things I learned in therapy was that you need to find your own methods to deal with or manage your problems. Be it anxiety or an emotionally taxing incident, every person copes in different ways. As someone who has been writing since he was 11, I naturally steered towards that. But, journaling didn’t quite work for me. It was after much trial and error that I realize I needed more than just jotting down my thoughts on paper.

I needed to craft a story around what I was trying to deal with. The narrative exploration of my personal turmoil or quandary allowed my mind to immerse itself in the story and its setting, allowed me to use my character’s voice to say things that I in real life could not. The truth is that this is just a way to trick my mind into coping.

It's not that I only write to cope, but I have found that a lot of the troubles happening around me end up fueling the conflicts in my writing, giving them layers of meaning that help me develop a fuller story.

Why I wrote Island of the Dying Goddess?

TW: mentions of medical emergencies, grief, and death.

I have voiced my thoughts and reasons for this in my preface. But, it was a tricky preface to write. On the one hand, I wanted to be as truthful as possible, and on the other, I didn’t want to sound like I was steering the readers towards a particular interpretation.

However, there is no denying my truth. I wrote Island of the Dying Goddess to cope with one of the most emotionally and mentally draining incidents of my life. My father’s stroke.

If you or anyone you know has dealt with such an incident, you know that it can take over your life in ways you aren’t even aware of. Death is final, but ailment is not. And that was what I was dealing with. My father did not succumb to the stroke; he was left paralyzed on one side with impediments to his speech and cognitive functions. To see the man who shaped my life and personality be struck by an invisible ailment was not easy to deal with. My dad was in the hospital for about four months, and it was painful to see him there. He was always an active man, someone who could spend all day on his feet outdoors. And here he was, confined to a room with needles poking into him, unable to even eat food orally for the first month.

I didn’t plan on using this incident as the trigger for my book. It just sort of happened. I usually plot my books in advance and then discovery-write them towards each plot point. However, I completely discovery-wrote Island for NaNoWriMo 2023, no title or plot in mind. Since I didn’t have any prior plans, my mind began filling in the gaps with what occupied it at the time. As the story unfolded, I found myself exploring themes and philosophical questions that I wasn’t able to voice out loud to everyone around me. Through Anawar (my protagonist), I was able to even say things that I hadn’t said to my own father before his stroke.

Of course, I didn’t just leave it at that. The rough draft of Island of the Dying Goddess is kind of a mess. The overall plot is the same as the final draft, but the narrative and beats are a little all over the place. It took me 2 full drafts to fix the story and make sure that the themes weren’t overpowering the plot or diminishing the characters’ personalities. On the surface, the book is about survival. But underneath the Elden Ring and A Fistful of Dollars treatment, the book explores grief, loss, and coping through its settings and characters, each derived from my own emotional states during this difficult period.

After the first round of edits, I was worried that I might have to abandon this book. Mostly because I wasn’t sure I would be able to make a compelling and coherent story out of it. The ending in the first two drafts didn’t hammer in the emotional crescendo that I was trying to achieve. However, one more draft (about 2-4 months) later, I figured it out. By this point, the book had become less about coping and more about storytelling for me. So, I was able to look at things objectively and trim out the fat to make the story what it is right now.

This has been the most difficult writing experience of my life so far. However, it is also the most emotionally rewarding one. In fact, the feedback I received from my beta readers combined with early reviews has boosted my confidence. I worked hard, I persevered, and the reviews are proof that my efforts have paid off.

I originally didn’t want to talk about my father, because I’m not used to sharing my personal life publicly. However, during my final edits, I realized that if I made clear my inspirations and my motivations, my story could be helpful for people going through the same ordeal. After all, humans are social animals and one of the biggest helps in coping with tragedies is empathy and emotional support. My father is alive and well as I write this post.

That being said, I hope Island of the Dying Goddess finds a healthy readership upon release. If not to cope, then maybe to reflect. Because I explore some mature themes, one of them being the concept of mercy killing, which is illegal in many countries across the globe. Through these stories, I want my readers to ponder over ideas that impact real life. And hopefully, through these reflections and discourse, one day we’ll make the world a better place.

Thank you for reading,

Ronit J